Why I Went to Therapy While Pregnant (And Why It Helped)
I have been pregnant for years. No, I mean it.
This is my third pregnancy and it’s nearly over — which means I’ve spent almost 27 months of my life growing other human beings inside my body.
That kind of prolonged intensity can take a toll on your mental health during pregnancy. In my case, it certainly did — though maybe not for the reasons you’d expect.
The Birth Trauma No One Warns You About
Even my “normal” pregnancy caused trauma.
My first pregnancy was textbook. My beautiful son was born three days overdue in a birth centre with a midwife. And I found it completely horrifying.
I was young. Overconfident. Wildly unprepared for the realities of giving birth.
The experience left me with what I now recognize as real birth trauma.
No one warns you about that.
When you’re pregnant, the messaging is often:
- “Women have been doing this for thousands of years.”
- “Your body was made for this.”
- “Birth is empowering.”
And while that may be true for some, framing birth only as empowering can feel like a disservice to women who experience it as frightening or traumatic.
The Aftermath of My First Birth
In the days and weeks after my son was born, I had nightmares. Anxiety. Flashbacks. I struggled to bond with my baby.
I felt like I had PTSD.
We warn mothers about postpartum depression, but we don’t talk nearly enough about post-birth trauma.
So here I am. Talking about it.
A High-Risk Pregnancy and More Trauma
A couple of years later, I became pregnant again.
This pregnancy was nothing like the first.
At 20 weeks, I started bleeding and truly believed I was miscarrying. Thankfully, I wasn’t. But what followed were 10 weeks of high-risk appointments, extended bedrest, hospital stays, and eventually a placental abruption.
My daughter was born prematurely at 30 weeks.
The NICU Experience and Unprocessed Trauma
She spent seven weeks in the NICU.
Instead of recovering at home from a birth that nearly killed me, I was taking the subway every day to sit at her bedside for 9–10 hours.
I never properly processed that trauma.
At the time, I wasn’t planning on having more children. I convinced myself I could just move forward without unpacking it.
Turns out, life doesn’t always go according to plan.
Pregnancy Anxiety and the Decision to Start Therapy
Seven years later, in a new chapter of life with a new partner and a blended family, I found myself pregnant again.
And this time, the trauma refused to stay buried.
I was terrified.
Every thought about this baby — about him coming early, about something going wrong — sent me spiraling. I cried constantly. I couldn’t cope with caring for our three other children. I was angry, reactive, overwhelmed.
This wasn’t just nerves.
It was unresolved trauma showing up as severe pregnancy anxiety.
So I made a decision.
I started therapy while pregnant.
Is It Normal to Go to Therapy While Pregnant?
There is still a quiet stigma around therapy during pregnancy — as if you’re supposed to be glowing and grateful and emotionally steady.
But mental health during pregnancy is just as important as physical health.
If you would see a doctor for high blood pressure or gestational diabetes, why wouldn’t you seek support for anxiety, trauma, or depression?
Going to therapy while pregnant doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’re proactive.
How Therapy Helped Me During Pregnancy
And slowly — I got better.
It took time. Many sessions. Hard conversations. Tears.
But I began to untangle the trauma from my previous births. I learned coping tools. I developed language for my fears instead of letting them control me.
Now, as I approach the end of this pregnancy, I feel something I didn’t think was possible:
Hope.
Even if this birth isn’t perfect, I have the tools to process it. I know how to advocate for myself. I know how to seek help.
Therapy didn’t erase my past.
It helped me carry it differently.
If You’re Struggling During Pregnancy
If you’re pregnant and not feeling happy or glowing…
If you’re overwhelmed.
If you’re anxious.
If past trauma is creeping in.
Do the thing.
Go to therapy.
It’s okay to not feel magical about pregnancy.
Some of us just need to be shined up a bit.
And there is absolutely no shame in that.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re struggling with anxiety, trauma, or complicated feelings during pregnancy, please know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone.
Therapy while pregnant was one of the best decisions I made for my mental health — and it’s okay if you need that kind of support too.
If this resonated with you, you might also like to read:
→ What I’m Doing Differently With This Baby (After Having Kids Before)
And if you’d like more honest reflections on pregnancy, motherhood, and rebuilding yourself along the way, you can join my email list below.
I’m really glad you’re here
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