4 Things I Definitely Won’t Miss About Being Pregnant

God, I’m so tired of being pregnant.

Coming up to these last days, I’m feeling what pretty much every woman feels.

Just frickin’ over it!

The one tiny blessing of my last baby coming 10 weeks early, if there was one, was that I got to skip this part: the 6–7 lb small human rolling around in your guts and punching you from the inside part.

The completely uncomfortable in pretty much every position part.

The “so, SO tired of what the view from my toilet looks like” part insert eye roll here.

So, to celebrate that I am nearly at the end of this — my absolute last pregnancy — here is a list of some of the things I definitely WON’T miss about this magical time.

#1. The Olympic Sport Otherwise Known As Rolling Over in Bed

It is so unfair that the one dedicated place in the house for me to lay down and rest is also my complete nemesis — the place I am actually the MOST uncomfortable.

I have a practical fort built between me and my partner of pregnancy pillow, belly wedges, and every other doo-dad imaginable. And yet, I’m still uncomfortable and tossing and turning all night.

And tossing and turning is a stretch, because rolling over in bed right now? That is currently a three-step engineering project involving momentum, those same pillows, and pure determination.

So yeah, won’t miss that.

#2. The Goldfish Bladder

If you’ve ever wanted to visit your bathroom 100 times a day, not get more than an hour of sleep at a time because you need to pee again, or literally pee “pre-emptively” every time you go to leave the house just in case, then have I got news for you!

For the low, low price of renting your insides for 9 months to the result of rubbing genitals with your partner, you TOO can have a VIP ticket to every bathroom in town.

That you can find.

That will let you use it.

That you want to use.

Although, let’s be honest, by this point on those long car trips, even that grubby gas station bathroom looks PRETTY darn good.

Won’t be missing THAT either.

#3. The Acrobatics Required to Perform Pretty Much All Daily Activities

The ridiculous vision of me trying to put socks on should be topping feeds everywhere. I am sure that it’s comedy gold. Or how about trying to put on my winter boots?

Or even put on pants, for gosh’ sake. I swear there are days I have considered begging my partner to dress me because getting my feet into my pant legs hurts me, causes me to be embarrassingly out of breath, and takes an obscenely long time.

I cannot wait until my body goes back to just working the way it’s intended to — moving the way I want it to.

So, I won’t miss sock gymnastics at all.

#4. And the Last Thing I Absolutely Will Not Miss: Strangers (or Really Anyone) Commenting on My Body

What is it about being pregnant that makes people think your body is open to comment? And somehow you’re always the wrong size.

When you’re in your first trimester and not even showing, you’re sick as a dog. But you’re not “pregnant enough” to complain yet.

And then later, no matter how pregnant you are, you’re HUGE. God, I hate that word.

So this is my very strong PSA:

If you ever see a pregnant woman — and let’s be honest, you will — the only thing she wants to hear out of your mouth about her body is:

“Wow, you look fantastic!”

That. Is. It.

I don’t care if she is the size of a walrus or a small, skinny woman with what looks like a cantaloupe strapped to her abdomen. Believe me — she doesn’t want to hear anything else from you.

Trust me on this, and thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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Now, this list is definitely not exhaustive. There are many more parts of pregnancy that I won’t miss.

And yes, there are some things I will.

It is pretty awesome, after all, to be capable of growing a human being inside your body.

But if pregnancy was all sunshine and rainbows, women wouldn’t want it to end.

I think Mother Nature purposely designed it so that by the time your baby is ready to come out, the only thing more intolerable than the thought of labor is the thought of being pregnant forever.

And maybe there’s something to that.

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Thanks for Reading!

Thank you for sticking with me through my venting session — and for sharing a laugh (or an eye-roll) along the way. I’m so glad you’re here!

If this post resonated with you, you might also enjoy checking out some of my other blogs:

• What I’m Doing Differently With This Baby (After Having Kids Before)
• Why I Cried When I Found Out I Was Pregnant — And Why That Doesn’t Make Me a Bad Mom

Pregnancy, parenting, and life in general can be exhausting — but it’s so much better when you feel like someone “gets it.” I hope you find a little comfort, a lot of laughs, and maybe even some inspiration here.

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See you in the next post! 💛

— The Bookish Mama