Welcome to Mom’s Summer Camp (Where Chaos Is the Curriculum)
We are now truly in the thick of summer vacation with four kids.
Despite all the planning and the activities we’ve scheduled to keep the little ones busy, it’s mostly just beautifully chaotic around here.
My poor partner works from home and is approximately three sibling arguments away from a nervous breakdown, I’m sure haha.
So I’ve been doing my best to keep everyone occupied and, ideally, as quiet as is humanly possible with a baby and three school-aged kids.
I’ve started jokingly referring to our house as Mom’s Summer Camp.
And after careful consultation with our members…
(As in the kids. There aren’t exactly a lot of other adults around here volunteering for committee duty most days. I can’t imagine why.)
…these are the official camp rules.
#1. Everyone must speak as loudly as possible at all times.
Inside voices? Never heard of them.
It is full-volume city around here from sunrise until bedtime.
And waiting for someone else to finish talking? That’s for amateurs.
Simply raise your own volume until you successfully talk over everyone else.
Whatever they were trying to say probably wasn’t important anyway.
#2. You must always be thirsty.
I swear these kids have never had a drop of fluid in their lives.
Every five minutes it’s:
“Mom, can I have some juice?”
“Can I have a bottle of water?”
“Can I have a popsicle?”
“Can I have another bottle of water?”
I’m very pro-hydration, but I’m starting to feel like the water boy.
At this point I should just strap a water cooler to my back and let them drink from the spout as I walk by.
Honestly, it would probably be more efficient.
#3. No one is ever allowed to know where their shoes are.
Since this house transforms into Feral Child Headquarters every summer, everyone spends most of the day barefoot.
Which is perfectly fine… until we actually have somewhere to go.
Then suddenly every pair of shoes has vanished into another dimension.
Each child in this house owns what feels like 75 pairs of shoes, but the second school let out they all disappeared.
Honestly… maybe the shoes went on vacation too.
#4. The phrase “I’m bored” must be said at least once per day.
Despite having siblings, bikes, scooters, a trampoline, every gaming system known to mankind, an entire backyard and approximately one million toys…
Someone is always bored.
I’m sorry, but the camp activities director is currently nap-trapped under a sleeping baby.
Please go outside, find a stick, dig a hole, get muddy and figure it out.
It’s good for you.
#5. Basic hygiene becomes completely optional.
My kids know the morning routine.
Brush your teeth.
Brush your hair.
Wash your face.
Wash your hands.
We’ve done it every day for years.
But the moment summer vacation starts, you’d think I’d asked them to climb Mount Everest barefoot.
And convincing them to take a bath every couple of days?
Apparently unreasonable.
“But Mom… we went swimming today!”
Yes.
In a lake.
I’m fairly confident lake water is not the latest advancement in antibacterial soap.
Although if it is, maybe I should bottle it up and sell it.
Retirement might be closer than I thought.
#6. Snacks are a full-time occupation.
I have never met people who require as many snacks as children on summer vacation.
It’s honestly impressive.
I barely finish putting groceries away before someone appears beside me like they’ve been summoned by magic.
“Can I have a snack?”
Five minutes later…
“I’m hungry.”
You literally just ate.
At this point I’m less of a mom and more of a 24-hour convenience store that occasionally breaks up wrestling matches.
As exhausting as summer vacation can be, I know these are the days we’ll laugh about years from now.
One day the house will be quiet.
There won’t be shoes scattered across the front hall or endless requests for snacks and juice. No one will be yelling across the house because they can’t find their swimsuit for the third time this week.
I’ll probably miss it more than I can imagine.
So for now, I’ll embrace the beautiful chaos that is Mom’s Summer Camp.
Even if the camp director is running entirely on coffee, cold leftovers and sheer determination.
What are the rules at your house this summer?
If your home has transformed into its own version of Mom’s Summer Camp, I’d love to hear about it!
What would make your family’s list of “official summer rules”? Is it endless snack requests? Kids who suddenly forget where every single belonging is? Or maybe you’re also running a full-time taxi service between camps, sports and playdates.
Leave a comment below and tell me your funniest “unofficial rule” of summer vacation. Misery loves company… and parents are usually pretty funny.
You might also enjoy:
- I’m Changing Our Family’s Screen Time Rules This Summer
- How I’m Planning to Survive Summer Vacation With Four Kids
- When Your Baby Makes You Angry (And Why That Doesn’t Make You a Bad Parent)
Thanks for stopping by, and good luck out there, fellow camp directors.
You’ve got this. ❤️
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