What I Wish I Knew With My First Baby (Real New Mom Advice)
From newborn noises to bedtime routines, these are the things I wish I knew the first time I created a tiny human.
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I like to think of myself as a veteran mom. This isn’t my first baby, after all. It isn’t even my second.
Oh no. I’m a third-timer. So you’d think I’d feel like an expert. Like I’d have all these tricks up my sleeve for getting a baby to sleep through the night and settle perfectly in their bed… all the things moms struggle with in the beginning.
But the truth is, every new baby has made me feel like a brand new mom all over again.
Yes, it’s true that I have more experience this time. I’m more confident with breastfeeding, bathing, and all those kinds of things.
But each baby is different. And each time I’ve had a baby, I’ve been different too.
This time in particular is also with a different father, so even the home and circumstances feel new in their own way.
So with that being said, I have figured a few things out this time around that I really wish I had known with my first two babies — and I’d love to share them.
If you’re a new mom navigating life with your own brand new miniature human, I hope these are helpful.
#1. My Baby Sounds Like an Angry Goat at Night
Seriously. He does haha.
From the very beginning, he has been a noisy sleeper. He grunts, groans, whines… sometimes he even makes little whimpers or crying sounds.
All of which had me, of course, constantly checking on him and assuming he was waking up.
Here’s what I’ve figured out — and what I really wish I had realized sooner:
A noisy newborn does not necessarily mean an awake newborn.
Newborns are just noisy little creatures when they sleep. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong.
My midwife told me something that made so much sense. She said newborns make a noise every time they feel anything or have any kind of bodily function, because they haven’t been socially conditioned yet not to.
So basically, every time his tummy gurgles, he has to make sure the whole house knows about it.
Especially his poor, sleep-deprived mother.
With my first two babies, I always felt like I was up all night. I was convinced they were terrible sleepers.
I was constantly rocking them, trying to get them to sleep in their bassinets, only to have them immediately “wake” again.
Now, looking back, I realize… they were asleep. I was the problem. I was waking them by picking them up when they didn’t actually need me.
I unknowingly made those first weeks and months so much harder on myself.
So now, when my baby stirs or makes his angry little farm animal noises, I take a breath and wait. Give him a minute to settle.
And like a miracle to a mom who thought she had bad sleepers… he often just drifts right back to sleep.
I really wish I had known that the first time around.
#2. That a Baby Who Takes a Bottle Would Mean Freedom
I’ve breastfed all three of my babies. The first two exclusively for the first year — no bottles, no soothers.
Breastfeeding is beautiful. I love that I’m able to do it. Feeding a baby from a tiny newborn to a chubby little gremlin using just my body feels kind of miraculous.
And honestly, one of the biggest reasons I chose to do it (beyond the obvious health benefits)?
It’s cheaper shrug.
Formula is expensive. What comes from me is free — and when we were younger parents, that mattered.
But this time, I had some complications that meant I couldn’t feed on one side for a while. (You can read more about that here if you’re interested.)
So from very early on, this baby has taken a bottle at least a couple of times a day — and a lot of that has been formula.
And I cannot overstate how much that has changed my postpartum experience.
A baby who takes a bottle means… my partner can feed him.
That still feels novel and honestly kind of magical to me.
It means I have more freedom than I ever had with my first babies.
I can leave the house. Run errands. Go have coffee with my sister.
And I don’t have to plan it around nap time or bring the baby with me every single time.
I love breastfeeding. I really do.
But there were definitely moments before where I felt resentful being the only one who could feed the baby.
Now I can have help. And that has been life-changing.
So however you choose to feed your baby — I support that completely.
But if you’re planning to combination feed, bottle feed, or even just introduce a bottle occasionally, just know…
It’s okay to give yourself a little more freedom.
You’re a person too. And you need to fill your own cup before you can keep pouring into your baby.
#3. You Don’t Have to Give Up Your Hobbies When You Have a Baby
Having a new baby completely rearranges your life.
It can feel like every part of you has to shift to make room for this tiny new person.
And to some extent, that’s true. It’s part of becoming a parent.
But it’s also really easy to lose yourself in that process.
I know I did with my first two.
My main hobbies are reading, cooking, and playing video games — and all of those are significantly harder with a baby in your arms.
It took me months to return to the things I love after my first babies.
My whole world revolved around them, and there just wasn’t space for anything else. Space for me.
But that doesn’t serve anyone — not me, and not them.
They don’t get a full version of their mom, and I don’t feel like myself.
So this time, I’ve made a conscious effort to hold onto the things that make me, me.
Thanks to my Kindle, it’s much easier to read while nursing or rocking the baby (have you ever tried holding a hardcover one-handed? Not happening haha).
I’ve also fully embraced audiobooks.
I used to be skeptical, but now they’re essential. I love being able to switch between reading and listening depending on how cooperative the baby is.
And yes, I do insist on buying both versions sometimes — much to my partner’s consternation.
If you’re also a bit skeptical, you can try Audible for free here to see if it’s for you.
I’ve also had no problem handing the baby off so I can cook dinner. It’s one of the ways I show love to my family, and keeping that routine matters to me.
I haven’t done much gaming lately, but I know I’ll come back to it in time.
And that’s the point.
You don’t lose yourself forever — you just adapt.
And maybe the biggest thing I wish I knew…
You don’t have to get everything right.
With my first baby, every decision felt huge. Every sleep, every feed, every little moment felt like something I could mess up.
But now, after doing this a few times, I can see it so much more clearly.
Babies are resilient. Moms are resilient.
And most of the things that feel overwhelming in those early days?
They pass.
The noisy nights. The constant feeding. The exhaustion.
It all changes.
You learn your baby. You find your rhythm.
And slowly, you start to feel like yourself again — just a slightly more tired, slightly more emotional, but somehow stronger version.
If you’re in the middle of those early days right now, just know this:
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just doing it for the first time.
And that’s allowed to feel hard.
💛 A little help for the newborn stage
If you’re in the thick of those early days, I’ve put together a list of the products I actually use and love — the ones that have genuinely made life easier this time around.
You can find them here → The Bookish Mama Shop
Before You Go 🤍
If any of these “I wish I knew” moments made you feel seen, you are absolutely not alone. Motherhood has a way of making even normal things feel confusing at 2 a.m. with a tiny grunting baby beside you and three Google tabs open. 🌙
I’d love to hear from you in the comments:
What’s something you wish someone had told you before your first baby?
And if you’re in the thick of newborn life right now, take this as your reminder that you’re doing better than you think you are.
✨ If you enjoy honest motherhood posts, cozy bookish content, and realistic mom life tips, make sure to join my email list so you don’t miss new posts, printables, and journal releases from The Bookish Mama.
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And if you’re looking for a gentle way to reconnect with yourself during motherhood, you can also browse my guided journals and cozy printables in the shop. 📚🤍
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