Why Is It So Hard to Maintain Your Hobbies Postpartum?
When preparing for this baby, I intentionally left room in my postpartum plans for my hobbies.
I knew things would look different for a little while, but I had visions of contentedly nursing on the couch, writing blog posts from my laptop, and reading books during night feeds.
What a fool I was.
You’d think after two other babies I would know better—but apparently even veteran moms can fall into the trap of thinking they can plan anything that happens after you have a baby.
The truth is, I have been really struggling to do anything but sit on the couch day after day watching Netflix.
Season 4 of Bridgerton, anyone?
Now, to be fair to myself, I did injure my back before even leaving the hospital. So those first few days, I was a little crippled on top of healing.
Sitting anywhere was a challenge, so when I found a comfortable position, you weren’t getting me to move for anything.
I carried my Kindle at my side pretty much everywhere I went—but picking up a book to read felt impossible.
Writing anything was completely out of the question those first few days.
And video games and cooking?
Off the table.
If I didn’t have a very supportive partner taking care of me and the other kids, I’m not sure anyone would have eaten at all this last week.
I’ve been trying to reflect and figure out why it’s just so hard to do even something as simple as read a book when you’re fresh from delivering a human being.
And honestly?
I think it melts your brain a little bit.
Seriously.
A couple of days after the birth, I had to sit down and do my maternity leave paperwork.
This task took me several hours—and left me so mentally exhausted I cried, then had a nap.
It felt like swimming upriver in a fog, trying to get my brain to process the information.
I usually handle tasks like that quickly and easily, so it was a struggle to accept that I just… can’t right now.
The planning and execution that would go into something as simple as a family meal?
Completely beyond me.
And video games and books just feel totally overstimulating and intimidating to my poor, foggy brain.
Now, things have improved a little over the last couple of days.
Obviously—since I’m here writing again.
I started a new book (Blue Arrow Island), which I’m really enjoying.
I’ve started making myself smoothies and other simple meals that I enjoy while the baby naps.
Little steps back toward myself.
I highly suspect this upswing may be temporary—but it is uplifting to do these small things for myself.
The other children, too, have appreciated the couple of mornings I’ve been up before school, instead of staying in bed with the baby while my partner gets them out the door.
As much as we prepared them for a shift in our family routine, it’s still been difficult for them.
So moving forward, I’m trying to be kind to myself.
On the days I feel like I can, I’m writing. I’m cooking. I’m creating.
And on the days when the baby and I have had a bad night?
I don’t.
I vegetate.
I think I need to give myself permission to backslide a little.
Two steps forward, one step back is not failure in postpartum.
There is no failure after having a baby.
Whatever your day looks like—you already won.
You survived it.
And sometimes, survival is the goal with a brand new baby to look after.
And if you manage to do even one thing that makes you feel like yourself?
Even a few pages a day is progress in a book.
And if that’s what “back to myself” looks like right now…
Well, that’s just the chapter I’m in.
If you’re in this season too—trying to hold onto pieces of yourself while everything feels new and overwhelming—I’d really love to hear from you 🤍
What’s one small thing you’ve been able to keep for yourself lately?
Or something you’re hoping to get back to?
Leave a comment and let me know. You’re not alone in this.
If this kind of post resonates with you, I’d love to have you here more often.
You can join my email list for new posts, gentle reminders, and little things that help make this season feel a bit softer.
And if reading is one of the things you’re trying to hold onto (even slowly, one page at a time), I created a journal called One Chapter A Day to support that.
It’s simple, flexible, and designed for moms who don’t have hours to read—but still want to stay connected to books in this season.
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