Why Reading Is Self-Care for Moms (Especially When You Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself)

I couldn’t tell you when exactly I became a reader. I don’t remember my first book, or my first favorite author.

What I can tell you is that books — and reading them — are wrapped up in so many memories in my life, it’s hard to separate the stories I read from the stories I experienced.

Books were treasured friends and escapes during some of my hardest times.

One of my earliest memories of books is walking into a library in my hometown while they were having a used book sale. I might have been 10. I bought a hardcover book called The Spaceling by Doris Piserchia purely because the cover was cool.

That book changed me and is still on my all-time favourites list. It was my first fantasy book and likely defined my tastes for life.

After that, I became obsessed with The Animorphs series. Then Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys.

The next book I remember that changed me was The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman. I bought that one at a book fair when we had moved and I was attending a new school. I devoured that series with a voracious appetite, and it was the first series I reread multiple times. Not the last though. I love to revisit old friends.

As I grew up, so did my taste in stories. I read Wilbur Smith’s entire catalogue. Then Terry Goodkind had my attention for a while. A guy I dated in my late teens recommended Robert Jordan, so that author became a trusted friend when that same guy broke my heart.

When I was living on my own in Toronto and feeling lonely, and having problems with relationships or mental health, it was George R.R. Martin who became my escape.

Brandon Sanderson was with me during the time I was dating my ex-husband, and he stayed with me through the later separation.

Long nights with my newborns, I was kept company by these friends.

During dark nights when I suffered from depression and anxiety, these voices were the ones who drowned out the bad thoughts and pulled me out of my spirals.

When I became a mom, finding time to read was harder. I don’t think I picked up a book after the birth of my first child for at least a month, which is likely the longest I’ve gone without reading since I learned how.

I was so engrossed in the story I was creating with this new little human that escaping just wasn’t necessary at the time.

But reading is necessary.

Reading is self-care.

Quiet moments between you and the characters in books are a balm to a tired mind. They are an escape from real life that eases the soul. Even the stories that make you cry, or rage, or throw your book — they take you out of your own head for a time and into fantastical worlds where things are different.

When I finally picked up a book again, I found that piece of myself I’d briefly lost to motherhood. It felt like putting myself back together.

I firmly believe that taking moments to myself to indulge in the things that make me happy and feed my soul makes me a better mother.

Maybe your thing isn’t reading. Maybe it’s cooking, or knitting, or playing video games. Whatever it is, hold on to it fiercely when you become a mom. It’s easy to lose parts of yourself to make room for the little people you create, but they need you to be whole. They need a mom who prioritizes herself as much as them.

Trust me on this.

You ARE the sum of your parts.

And some of those parts need to feed your soul.

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Thank you for reading. Truly.

If you’re here, it probably means books matter to you too. And I’m so glad you’re here. This little corner of the internet is for moms who love stories, who are trying to hold onto themselves while raising tiny humans, and who need the reminder that their inner world still matters.

If this resonated with you, you might also enjoy:

• What I’m Doing Differently With This Baby (After Having Kids Before)
• Why I Went to Therapy While Pregnant (And Why It Helped)

And if reading is your self-care, I hope you make space for it this week — even if it’s just a few quiet pages before bed.

If you’re trying to rebuild your reading habit in this season, I created a simple guided reading journal for moms — something gentle and low-pressure to help you keep track of the quiet moments you carve out for yourself. You can find it here.

See you in the next post and join the email list below to get me straight to your inbox💛.

— The Bookish Mama