Should Kids Be Made to Share? A Real Parenting Dilemma (Especially With Siblings)
My 12-year-old won’t share his birthday gift.
And I’m not sure if I should make him.
Because this isn’t really about a baseball bat.
I find this a tough question in parenting. And being in a household with four children, it’s one that comes up a lot.
In a house like ours, someone always has something someone else wants.
A brand-new toy. A video game. Or something that’s been forgotten for months… until someone else picks it up. Then suddenly, it’s their most favorite thing.
So how do you make sure your children don’t grow up selfish, prioritizing belongings over relationships, while also respecting their right to have things that are just theirs?
When Sharing Becomes a Problem
This came up again recently because one of the boys just had a birthday.
Since the World Series last year, he’s developed a full-blown obsession with baseball. It’s nearly all he talks about.
He memorizes player names and stats, watches every game he can—even old recordings—and the number one thing he wanted for his birthday?
Not surprisingly… a bat, glove, and ball.
So of course, we made that happen.
We even took him to a sports store on his birthday so he could pick out his own.
And now? These are his prized possessions.
He takes them everywhere. To school. Back and forth to his mom’s. He probably sleeps with them (I’m guessing… but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised).
He takes care of them. He values them.
And he does not want the other kids touching them.
Now, we have another boy, only a year and a half younger. So naturally, they like all the same things.
They’re both signed up for baseball this summer.
So when our older boy is outside every day after school, tossing the ball in the air and practicing his batting, our younger one wants in.
He wants to bat. He wants to pitch. He just wants a turn.
But our 12-year-old won’t share. Not even a little. He won’t entertain the idea.
We’ve tried explaining that it would probably be more fun if they played together. Took turns. Ran bases. Played catch like an actual game.
He’s not interested.
He doesn’t want anyone touching his bat or his ball.
Should Kids Be Made to Share?
So here’s where I’m stuck:
Do I raise a kid who protects what’s his…
or one who learns to share, even when he doesn’t want to?
I’m of two minds about it.
On one hand, I grew up with six siblings. Sharing wasn’t optional. It was just part of life.
You didn’t get something like that and expect to keep it entirely to yourself.
So my instinct is to say yes—he should have to share.
Because sharing with siblings teaches empathy. It teaches kindness. It forces you to consider someone else’s feelings.
And I don’t think it’s healthy for kids to value possessions so much that the idea of someone else touching them feels unbearable.
But at the same time… I don’t believe kids should be made to share everything.
I wouldn’t make him hand over his things to a random kid at the park.
Strangers might not respect his belongings or take care of them.
And there are some things I don’t think kids should have to share at all.
This same child has special models he built with his dad. He doesn’t want anyone touching them.
That feels fair to me.
But a baseball bat?
That feels different.
The Complication No One Talks About
What makes this harder…
is that he still expects others to share with him.
On our younger boy’s birthday, when a very expensive Pokémon game was opened, he asked for a turn.
And he got one.
Because I’ve raised my kids to share.
These situations are also complicated by the fact that we’re a blended family.
The 12-year-old has only had siblings for a year and a half. Before that, it was just him and his dad.
He never had to think about this. Never had to consider anyone else’s feelings when it came to his things.
They were his. Full stop.
So I’m trying to be patient.
Trying to remember that this is new for him.
Where I Land (For Now)
We’re getting our younger boy his own bat and glove. He’ll need them for baseball anyway.
But if I’m being honest…
I resent having to do that.
Because it feels like I’m working around the lesson instead of teaching it.
So no, this isn’t really resolved yet.
I’m still figuring it out.
Trying to raise kind kids… without taking away their sense of ownership.
And right now?
I’m not entirely sure where that line is.
💬 Let’s Talk About It
This is one of those parenting questions that doesn’t have a clean, one-size-fits-all answer.
Some days, I feel strongly that kids should be made to share—especially with siblings. Other days, I can see the value in letting them hold boundaries around what’s theirs.
And honestly? I’m still figuring it out as I go.
So I’d really love to hear from you:
👉 Do you make your kids share with their siblings?
👉 Are there things in your home that are “off-limits”?
👉 How do you handle fairness when one child won’t share?
Drop a comment below or send me a message—I read every single one.
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